How
I Became A Believer
I was born on
February 11,
1972
, down in
"Nawlins" [New Orleans],
Louisiana
. I was
raised by Christian parents, who raised
me well, and took me to church, so I
assumed that I was a Christian, also.
When I was twelve, my Dad was stationed
by the Navy in Virginia Beach,
VA.
We were
attending
London
Bridge
Baptist
Church
at the time,
and it was during this period of my life
that I really began to wonder about my
salvation.
You, see, every week, I'd sit in church
and hear about salvation, and Jesus
Christ, and the cross, and the
resurrection, and so forth. We'd study
about it in Sunday School, and sing
hymns about it, and I'd learn all sorts
of facts about the Bible in VBS and
Children's Church, but through it all, I
had no real relationship with Jesus
myself, just lots and lots of religion.
Things were going pretty hard for me in
school those days, and, coming off yet
another move like I was, I'd managed to
get pretty depressed about my life, and
began thinking about, you know,
"ending it all".
As I lay awake one night that fall in
1984, I found myself wondering, "If
I'm a Christian, shouldn't I be
happy?" Where was the peace? Where
was the joy? Where was any of the things
a Christian ought to have? Nowhere to be
found in my life, it seemed. As I
pondered this, the Holy Spirit gave me
my answer, "Maybe you don't have
these things, because you're not really
a Christian, after all." To be
honest, I couldn't really remember a
time when I'd asked Jesus to forgive me
for my sins, and be my Savior. I'd heard
hundreds of sermons about it, but I
always thought I was fine the way I was.
So, that night, alone in my room, I
asked Jesus to forgive my sins, and be
my Savior, and love me, because I was
awfully lonely. He heard my prayer of
faith, childish though it was, and
forgave me my sins, and entered my
being, and cleansed my iniquity, and
became my Savior and Lord, and He has
never stopped loving me. I fell asleep a
different person that night, and though
I still had plenty of troubles to face
in life, I no longer had to face them
alone, or without God's grace.
How
I Answered the Call to Be a Missionary
This is a longer tale, but one that
basically boils down to this: a desire
for something more. All of my Christian
life, it has always been the same. I've
always wanted more of God, and never
could settle for mediocrity (not that I
never tried). When I went off to
college, I'd decided to "live my
own life", so to speak, and did so
in rebellion against my parents. This
brought the consequent rebuke and
pressure from God, and thanks to my
bitterness over various things, some
pretty serious torment to boot. So, by
the time I met Kyle Guimon in 1991, I'd
managed to make a pretty good wreck of
myself.
I wanted to know God, even then, but
couldn't because of my carnality and
sin. I'd all but given up on ever being
free from sins, when Kyle asked me if
I'd like to go to a Seminar he knew
about, where the speaker would be
talking about "resolving youth
conflicts", or some such. I agreed,
because at that point, I'd heard it all,
I thought, and figured I had nothing to
lose. I was ready to hear whatever God
might have to say at that point, because
I couldn't stand the torment any more. I
went, and God did speak, of many things.
The rest of the crowd there, and the
speaker, might as well have not even
been there, because I was hearing God,
and He proceeded to bring my attention
to every area of violation in my life,
and how they'd brought me into bondage,
and what the Bible prescribed to gain
liberty. For the first time in years, I
felt hope, and I rushed to the cross in
repentance. I laid aside my sins that
week, and walked away clean, and free,
and at peace, at last.
So began my restoration. Kyle and I met
Ken Spilger, the Area Coordinator for
the Seminar in that area at the time,
and within months, we were going to his
church. I never knew such a church
existed. Here was a place where the
people seemed genuinely interested in
knowing God. The sermons were more than
repetitious, shallow, evangelistic
messages. The music was worshipful, and
melodious, rather than repetitive,
sensual, and worldly. The women dressed
modestly, and the men were honorable. I
felt like I couldn't learn enough, and
here, finally, was a church where I
could be taught. My Pastor, now my
father-in-law, and Kyle, saved my life,
you see. They helped me grow, to get
from where I was, to where God wanted me
to be.
Now, you'd think, after all God had done
for me, I'd be anxious to get into
ministry. God had certainly called me,
and I went to college to prepare for it,
but for some dumb reason, I hesitated to
take steps in that direction. I was with
a SAR group up in
Michigan
for a few
years. I came back to St. Louis and
worked as a Paramedic for awhile, and
was moving up in the medical field, and
was happy, but not at peace. God shut
the door, soundly, on that. So, I tried
a few different things, and finally
settled on Computers as a field of study
and occupation. I excel at such, as this
website shows, and I was moving up in
the Technology field, and I was happy,
but not at peace. I had married my
Pastor's daughter, and had enjoyed the
pleasant distractions of married life,
and parenthood. I was working, and
serving faithfully in my church, and
enjoying my home, my wife, and my
children, and I was happy, but I was not
at peace. Inwardly, I was resisting God,
and trying to make up for it with good
works, and He steadfastly refused to let
it go, or give his blessing in any of
"my things" that I tried to
do.
2003. My wife wants to go to the
Camp
BIMI
reunion week,
and I agreed to go. That week, Gerry
Baugman preached on comfort zones, and I
realized that that was precisely where I
was - comfortable, serving God, but not
obeying His full will. I did not want to
just work a job, and settle into
mediocrity, and never attempt anything
great for God. So I took a chance. I
repented, and surrendered to God to be a
missionary, and I prayed and asked God
to help me to know where He would have
me go. Once again, God shone through the
fog of my ignorance and reminded me of
certain things. Remember, James, how
your mother wanted to go to
Africa
, and never
got to go? Remember how you felt when
Kyle shared my vision for
Uganda
with you, and
how your soul burned with desire to go
and do likewise? Remember how I've sent
Africa
missionary
after Africa
missionary
through your house, on deputation, on
their way, while you remained? Remember
your wife, who laid her vision down, so
I could bring you together, who was once
certain she was going to
Africa
? Did you
really think it was all a coincidence?
It was all so clear. So I gave my wife
the news, and it was like a total
confirmation of the vision she thought
she'd lost forever. You see, I had to
answer God's call. No one else could do
it for me. This way, she could be
confident that it was God's doing, and
not her pressuring, that was leading me
to Uganda
, Africa
.
We came back from Camp
BIMI
and
surrendered to the mission field
formally before our church. We returned
to Chattanooga
in June, 2004
for Candidate
School
, and were
approved by the board, by a cloud of
many witnesses, and have embarked on the
great adventure of our life. The rest,
as they say, is history.
There are many things I could do, and
maybe succeed at most, but there is only
one thing I was ever meant to do. I am
to be a missionary to Uganda
, Africa
, where I and
my family will spend our lives in the
service of the Almighty.
James
Huckabee, Missionary to Uganda, Africa
